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a rather private instance with annoying culture theme applied all over; we don't speak marain (yet).

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Furidosu μ'sic forever 🦀🍛
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@hipsterelectron You misread the "or else" completely: it's not a description of any human text, but the "hidden lifetime requirements", that is, you either follow these undocumented requirements "or else" it crashes. You accused Lina of misinterpreting based on your own misinterpretation. Chill a bit please.

d@nny "disc@" mc²

@furidosu i didn't accuse her of misinterpreting anything, that is a bizarre misread

d@nny "disc@" mc²
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@furidosu i'm saying "or else" is a very threatening thing to imply that was not actually said to her that does not seem to be justified by the other information available. is it funny if you accuse me of misinterpreting and misinterpret me? please don't tell me to chill out that's incredibly rude

d@nny "disc@" mc²
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@furidosu she immediately goes on to say that her quoted statement, which nobody actually said to her, and was ostensibly about lifetime requirements, is because the maintainer asked her to "do what the other drivers do". that is reasonable feedback and it's incredibly toxic to make long threads with language implying you were personally threatened by someone who provides specific and actionable feedback on your code before accepting it for inclusion

d@nny "disc@" mc²
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@furidosu there are a huge number of people who want to get changes into the kernel and i was ready to hear an instance of actual misconduct from the way people were talking about this but i got very upset when the concern was literally just whining about not getting large breaking changes merged immediately. that's a really terrible way to interface with unpaid maintainers

d@nny "disc@" mc²
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@furidosu "or else" was a very small part of my post and thread and you zeroed in on it as if proving me wrong on this one point was sufficient to dismiss all my other concerns while tone policing me for giving a shit about things you don't care about and i find that incredibly dismissive and contemptuous and i have no clue why you think that's a remotely acceptable way to act

Furidosu μ'sic forever 🦀🍛
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@hipsterelectron I am sorry. I care about kernel only from a distance indeed, and I have not earned the good will to interject informally, for which I apologize. I see two sides of an important topic are both upset and their mutual misunderstanding are deepening the mutual distrust. I only meant to try to invoke some reflection, but I have only upset you more, for which I also apologize. I know about the difficulties of kernel maintainers (though only shallowly), and I assumed that to be the basis of the whole discussion.

Furidosu μ'sic forever 🦀🍛
Public

@hipsterelectron I do care very much about "tone", because it is how I perceive the trust environment. For example, "ostensibly" is quite a risky word in my opinion since it dismisses expressed intentions in favor of implied ones, which fuels misinterpretation due to incomplete context. I understand Lina to mean that the feedbacks from the maintainers are only "ostensibly" constructive (only my interpretation). It is very difficult to reply to a charge of "ostensibly" indeed.